Its Hard...

I always knew I loved Bleu and that he was going to be there for me whenever I needed him. I just wish that he could have stuck around a little longer. I feel like he would be the prefect person to cheer me up. I never thought that it would hurt as much as it does. You never realize how much impact they have on your life until they're not there anymore. Rachel cries in the morning because Bleu doesn't come and check on her while she's getting ready. I get upset when I wake up and its not because he's licking my face. It hurts throughout the day when you just sit and listen and there's silence, Bleu did not allow silence. I never used to sit in the same place for more than 30 minutes because Bleu would always need a door opened or demand to wrestle or get a rub down, now I could sit without moving for hours and no one would get upset at me. Its hard to let Lola out and not have Bleu tailing behind her and seeing her total lack of enthusiasm when a buddy is given to her. We haven't used the kitchen yet because that was one of Bleu's favorite things. He loved to just sit and watch Rachel cook dinner or me cook breakfast in hopes of a fews scraps. I can't turn down 28th street because I know how much he loved to run home from the corner, I have to go the back way. It hurts to watch TV on the couch with the love seat unoccupied with him napping or growling at us from boredom. Its hard to go to sleep without him hassling me to get on the bed, they both used to start on the bed and then work their way into their baskets through the night. Then wake us up and want back on the bed. I still talk to him, I just wish I could touch him. Thats the hardest part.