Female Advice

This is for you single guys. If you're looking to get a girl and keep her, here are a few tips...

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "Could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.


2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign ofweakness. (Or--if she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really reallyhard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what astrong man youare).


3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girlsare like dogs. They love to be roughed up.


4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If She is, say "You better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning.This will show her you care.


5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might beher fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement,and every girl needs some improvement.


6. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. Whenshe is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "F*ck You" and grab theother girls ass. Girls love competition.


7. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so shethinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burningtire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were justkidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then driveher home.When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like thatlean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."


8. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love thosespecial nicknames.


9. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.


10. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her yourjacket...then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say"If you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to bebitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.


11. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.


12. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give herself confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deepdown desires to be.


13. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes,earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of thepair. This way she'll go crazy.


14. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interruptand say "No, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love aguy that speaks for her.


15. When its raining keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "No,its just the rain." Ten minutes later turn to her and just scream "Stopcrying you f*cking baby!" Girls like a tough man as I've already stated.


16. Titty twisters...and plenty of them.


17. If you're listening to music and she asks to hear it, tell her no.This way she'll think you're mysterious.


18. Two words...Dutch Oven.


19. Remember her birthday but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that shekeeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can everget.


20. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or justwhenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you knowshe's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have thepresent visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like thisone that much but I think it's funny.

Hog Proves Its Toughness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dj0jo-XLzHQ

I'm supposed to do what?

How in the world am I supposed to get anything done when this awaits me next Friday? It is December and should be slow, but sales peole at work are lucking into stuff and I'm running ragged. Well, I guess ragged isn't the word. But I'm moving extremely slow and unfocused as hell at this point.

In other news, the Hogs picked up their 24th commitment of the recruiting season a few days ago from Lance Ray a wide receiver from Florida. This class is shaping up to be the best recruiting class the University had ever seen. I, for one, am absolutly extatic about the next 3 years. Go Bobby Go!

I also advanced in my fantasy football playoffs last night by the slimest of margins 92-91. It took Steve Smith putting up 22 pts for me. I'm the only person to win in the first round that was ranked higher than my opponent, so as of now I'm the favorite to win it. Not trying to jinx it just stating facts. 2 titles in 3 seasons would definitely put me on the verge of a dynasty.

My birthday week is finally over, that sucks. Good presents, good times. Made turning thirty pretty easy.

Its my Birthday!!!

Im freaking 30 yrs old! Never thought I would see this. Atleast Bleu is like 39, And Lola is probably in her 300s, so I'm not the oldest person on this blog.

And I can still kick it with my Dogs.

Run For Your Lives!!!!!

I knew there was something crazy about these long-necked freaks.

Party!

Aint no Party like a

Cuz A

Don't Stop!

Bad Times, Good Times

This should have been the catch that put Arkansas at the 21 yard line with about 1:10 left in the 4th Quarter this Saturday. Being down by 2 and at the 20 isn't a bad place to be, yet another questionable call was made that cost the Hogs the game. An Offensive Pass Interference call. What makes it even more disheartening is the fact that a clear Defensive Pass Interference was not called 2 plays later, near the exact spot! Oh well at least we have a chance to ruin the Tulsa Golden Hurricane's perfect season this next weekend.

But lets not let this put a damper on the October we've had this year.

First off had a Good start to the month with Monster weekend in Fayetteville, Duane and Phrough made the trip, for the Florida game,

Ran into my old bartender Van with Skittles.

Kicked it with some Old School West Memphis Fools.

Navajo, Myself, the Fayetteville virgin Duane and Skittles.

And the wife and I were looking fly.

Awesome Time!

The Next Weekend involved Arkansas v Auburn at Buffalo Wild Wings with the Jop and Candace on Saturday afternoon, which was awesome because we won that game!

That was followed up by

in the Suitest seats ever! Get it?

Sunday was not to be out done though, because we saw
And what a fucking show! I swear they always step it up for the Brady. They definitely did not disappoint. Some of my personal favorites were; Pleas, Barstools and Space Wrangler to close the first set. They put out an all time Stop-Go in the 2nd and encored with a little Trouble, Don't Be Denied, Papa's Home! Just great! Thank You.

You're Welcome.

The next weekend my Mother-In-Law was in town, which might have been a good thing, since it kept me from the Oktoberfest Weekend. But we managed to sneak over there on Wednesday.

The next weekend was this past weekend that involved a Huge day of tailgating in Fayetteville before the infamous Ole Piss game.

After Saturday we headed back to Tulsa and brought a slew of Stone Temple Pilots fans with us. We closed the weekend with a great show where STP played every song I could have wanted them to, just a great show.

And the Spirit Bank Event Center is pretty sweet itself. Not very big, but has a bar upstairs with a great view of the stage and makes for a quite pleasant little venue.

So, decent month. 3 concerts, 4 if you count the polka bands at Oktoberfest. 2 Home games. And a whole lotta good times. One horrible conversation and 3 losses. I'll take it! (Minus the 3 losses and it might have been too much). Sometimes its good to be

unless you're in cuffs.

Its Going to be a Nutthouse

Tomorrow the Devil comes back to town! I cannot wait to beat his pussy, Ole Miss ass! Seriously, I haven't been this excited about a game since the SEC Championship in 2006 against Florida. We lost that game and Nutt never fully recovered. If we lose this one, the entire state might never recover. I have no doubt that grown men will embarass themselves in front of their children tomorrow night around 5:55 pm when Houston comes out of the opposing team's tunnel and such foul descriptions of human waste start spewing out of mouths. I'm sure there will more than a few words of advice on where he should spend his afterlife as well. God I'm nervous!

In other news....

The World Series is going on! I just don't care.

The election is only 2 weeks away! I have full fledged voter's fatigue.

Its Friday and no work for 2 days! Now that's something I support!

Oh wait my boss is calling right now, because noone I work with can figure out SHIT!!!!

Come on Lucky Lotto Tickets! Baby needs a life of Fridays.

Bleu's Blues

This guy is lucky he doesn't get his ass kicked!

The UK-UA game was plagued with questionable calls including incidents that involved referees allegedly telling Arkansas receivers to move closer to the line of scrimmage in order to not get an "illegal formation" penalty which were then flagged for "illegal procedure" and "false start" penalties. That game was completely controlled for 56 minutes by the Razorbacks only to be ripped away from them on 2 separate drives in the last 4 minutes that involved a total of 4 plays and 2 tds and a 21-20 loss.

For those keeping count, which is really only me, Arkansas is 0-6 against UK in Basketball and Football games since I've met my wife.

The only reason we can't complain to much about the officiating is because we didn't get tackled by one. Check out this tackle by a referee against South Carolina!

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=south+carolina+referee&search_type=&aq=f

Hog Video

Sure its only 1 conference victory, but somebody had to compare it to Gladiator, right?



Just click on Razorbacks down Auburn.



http://www.arkansasrazorbacks.com/newMediaPlayer/console.htm?type=vod&oemid=6100&id=undefined&KEY=WICPGGAKZNRMZJI.20081015010712&DB_MENU_ID=&SPSID=&SPID=&DB_OEM_ID=6100&CLIP_ID=0&CLIP_FILE_ID=undefined